Now, that had to take practice!
Last post, you learned about the folly of making resolutions (after all, you are not someone in need of being “fixed.”) Hopefully, you then went on to declare a new vision for your year.
However, your declaration—as beautifully sunny as it may be—won’t do you a lick of good unless you put some specific commitments on paper. Here’s why and how.
New Year’s Resolutions. Yuck. If weight loss tops your list, then you’re in good company. Fleetingly hopeful, mostly depressed, self-critical company.
The dread you feel is your flight-or-fight response getting ready to kick in, and neither a green tea-stimulated purge of your kitchen cabinets nor a week-long “Survivor” program with Boot Camp Bobby will be effective or healthy in the long run.
Carve an inspiring path for yourself instead. Here’s how.
One of the cardinal rules of coaching: For a commitment to be truly powerful, state where it is you want to go (your vision) rather than what you want to eliminate. My declaration for 2010 focuses on the theme of relationships.
In the past couple months, I’ve received valuable feedback (upon my request) from some terrific, honest coaching friends, regarding how I come across to others. I often feel rushed (and, likely as a result) tend to talk fast. I am the first to close out a conversation. I am usually only half-present; i.e. half-listening to my fiance, Bryan, tell me about his day while I half-finish up email. The result: Neither one gets my full attention and both suffer, particularly the one person I say I care most about but who I dishonor with each excuse of busyness. For the sake of my future and my business, this is no longer something I will tolerate.
To make my declaration to have more meaningful relationships actionable, this means I am committed to 3 specific goals:
1) I commit to look people in the eye, to listen more than I talk, to think before I speak and when I do speak to enunciate my words. I will be present to those around me, from service workers to clients to loved ones.
2) I commit to start each day in prayer and meditation, so as to connect more deeply with God.
3) Finally, I commit to end each day by journaling about my experience of the day’s events and my feelings, thus getting in better touch with myself.
How am I doing so far? It is amazing how clear-minded, calm, and connected I feel when I slow down and dedicate even a little bit of time to my chosen goals. And… some days I completely miss the mark. Just like life, commitments take concerted, consistent effort. I’ll keep you posted. After all, you’re in my life now, too.
And now, I hear my 98-year old grandmother (here for the holidays) talking with my mom and sister in the other room. I’d better go listen…
I know it’s not yet Christmas, but I can’t help thinking about New Year’s Resolutions. Or, rather, Un-resolutions. As in: I’m going to resolve not to do everything on my own.
Take this blog, for example. I published this site months ago, and each time I come back to learn the backend of blogging, it confuses and overwhelms me. And then another week goes by whereby I haven’t blogged, not to mention I’d rather be wrapping gifts or playing games with family right now. (I also resolve not to compare myself to other bloggers who make it look so easy, and instead simply remind myself of where I’m at–the beginning of the learning curve. Not right or wrong, it just is.) So at the start of the year, I resolve to contact my fabulous web designer, Jessica, and pay her an hour or two for a tutorial so I learn to blog regularly and proficiently.
My upcoming wedding is another example. I have sisters, friends, and a fiance who are willing to help if I only say the word and give a little direction. I’m good at directing. 
Really what this boils down to is my willingness to play well with others, ask for help, and let go of perfection. I will also look for opportunities to pitch in and return the favors.
Making requests and giving promises. What a simple and beautiful way to connect and grow community. More on that–what I resolve to do more of– in my next post. In the meantime, have a wonderful time connecting with your family this week as you celebrate another special Christmas!
