Posts Tagged ‘wedding’

The Pursuit of the Perfect Weight (Hell, Part 2)

Thursday, December 2nd, 2010

Little girl seemingly pushing a boulder up a hillIt took me 8 months to shed 4 pounds and reach my goal weight of 132.6 for my July wedding. It took a determined degree of discipline. I didn’t go to extremes, mind you, because I will still maintain that I didn’t diet per se.—I just kept an even more keen eye on my moderate eating and exercise plan.

Yet, on the best day of my life, I still felt just the teeniest bit on the hefty side. I still had cellulite. And I still wasn’t in love with what I saw in the mirror.

I was clearly at a “healthier” weight—at least according to the charts. But I also had noticeably diminished energy. And I thought I could still stand to lose a few more pounds. Darned if I do, darned if I don’t.

By fixating on a perfect weight, I created the perfect hell for myself.

In Geneen Roth’s incredibly insightful book, Women Food and God, she writes that hell is “wanting life to be different from what it is.” Disregarding reality. Checking out of my own life. (By focusing so maddeningly on just this one aspect of my life—a fluky external measurement—I am choosing to miss experiencing the abundance in the rest of my life).

I’m living in a sick fantasy world of my own making because I refuse to see that what I think I want is unattainable. I buck the belief that it’s crazy. I dismiss the thought that my body knows best and 129 is an honest threat to my health. I mean, I haven’t even been able to maintain my wedding weight, let alone slim down further.

Next post: The Pursuit of a Healthy Weight (Heaven, Part 1)

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How Do YOU Feel Entitled?: Part 2

Wednesday, November 17th, 2010

Man with dumbbell in one hand, corn chip in the otherGood. So for me, I will admit that lately I’ve got this laissez-faire attitude about my own eating. I gained 6.5 pounds practically as soon as I finished saying “I do” 5 months ago, and I vacillate from being really irritated with that fact (particularly given my line of work) and copping a “who cares?” view. Neither is serving me to take action and, in fact, choosing to perpetuate a negative perspective naturally drives me to sidle up to my friend, Food.

If I dig a little deeper, I’m starting to recognize a recent pattern of entitlement. I worked hard to trim the few pounds down to my goal weight for my wedding, and now I think I’ll kick back a bit and have: a slice of banana bread here (it’s not really a “sweet,” right?), a couple spoonfuls of peanut butter there.

If whatever season you are in is, in your mind, getting in the way of optimal living, I invite you to consider how much is truth and how much is excuse.

I’m certain the reasons are plausible—I mean, if you like to exercise outside, winter’s dark and cold does make it harder. But then again, there are allergens to contend with in spring and fall, and heat and humidity in the summer. So even though the reasons are rational, we get to circumvent them for a higher cause—our commitment to better living.

What will I do now? Well, what will you do? Again, it helps to play along here by pausing to reflect on your own choices for moving forward.

Next post: What I will do.

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When Playing Hookey Isn’t So Fun

Tuesday, April 27th, 2010

I’ve recently surprised myself by finding fun in some of the girly aspects of planning my wedding–things like shopping for accessories and bridesmaid gifts. (Thank you Etsy!) And while several friends have encouraged me to enjoy this time of my life, I’ve got this nagging feeling that’s starting to drag me down.

You see, I’m so busy trying to figure out where to get subtly-colored strappy evening shoes that I’m cutting big-time into the hours I’ve set aside for bookkeeping and other work projects. And that doesn’t feel good. I mean, it’s great to dream. I never used to be a girl who dreams about her wedding (well, except in my twenties when I thought a peanut butter and jam cake sure would be memorable–shows you where my priorities were!)

However, I am clear that my daydreams and wedding website updates are now getting in the way of my career dreams and blog posts. They have become an excuse to procrastinate the seemingly not-as-fun tasks of building a business. I coach clients around eliminating just such “tolerations” in their lives–”unfinished” conversations and action plans that, if we’re honest about them, we’re using to sidetrack us from the bigger game of vibrant health, intimate relationships, and meaningful work. When you start completing tasks you’ve been avoiding, you re-establish your integrity. By putting your ducks in a row in one area of life, you are actually freeing yourself up to pursue your heart’s desire elsewhere. Tackling the project can even be fun because it taps a deeper level of passion.

So, what do YOU need to finish? ME: I’ve been meaning to schedule a free conference call to talk about how coaching can help support you (and friends or loved ones) with your wellness and life goals. I promise to do that in the next month. If unhealthy weight or unfulfilled dreams has been something YOU’ve been tolerating for some time now, my request is that you email info@truceinc.com to let me know if you’d like to join that call. And then we can all get on with the fun of living rich, purpose-driven lives. Now THAT’s a fabulous feeling.

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